Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, the nation's most blessed breeders and stars of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting, want you to know it's important to make time for romance in your relationship. WWJD on Valentine's Day? Who cares! WWTDD? The Duggars would fuck. They would skip House of Cards, roll up Michelle's giant denim skirt, and they'd do it all night long in their giant Arkansas dormitory.
Today Moms, in a fairly uncomfortable interview filled with awful picture captions, asked the Duggars how they keep the spice alive after nearly 30 years of marriage and after birthing nearly 30 million children. Here is the advice the Duggars offered:
- Say yes to sex, even when you're tired. According to Michelle, "Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls."
- But give it a rest sometimes. The Duggars do not engage in sex while Michelle is on her period and they also abstain from sex after childbirth (40 days for a boy and 80 days for a girl). Say yes to sex except when reminded that things come out of there, you know?
- Treat your wife like a queen. "That's key in a relationship," Jim Bob says. Unclear whether or not men have to do this even when they're tired.
- The strong, silent type is overrated. Why? Michelle explains, "When he learns to humble himself before God and me, it builds him up so much in my eyes."
- Perfectionism kills romance. "Expectations ruin relationships," Jim Bob warns. Except the expectation that you should say yes to sex, even when you're tired.
- Make time for date night. Even when you're tired? Even then.
- Never stop learning. The Duggars then share a story about how they met an Amish could who told them the secrets to a happy relationship are saying "I was wrong" and "Will you forgive me?"
Jim Bob believes their advice is awesome: "We're like a newlywed couple every day!" he exclaimed, presumably over a plate of tater tot casserole because that's all the Duggars ever really eat.
So listen up, married couples. No excuses tonight. Birds do it, bees do it, even very tired non-bleeding Duggars do it.
[Image via AP]