"It's My Life": As usual, the kids were singing about unfettered ambition while stuck in a desperate situation. Things were so bad for Finn that he was passing out in rehearsal and couldn't even get past level two of Halo (or some other bloody video game—this isn't really my area of expertise). He can't handle the pressure of being in school, being the macho QB, the slightly-less macho male lead of the Glee club, a good boyfriend, and an expectant father at the same time! Sure, he gave up on doing homework, but other than that he couldn't prioritize. Good thing Nurse Wretched had a cure for him.

Will was trying to get the Glee kids out of the gutter so that they could beat the kids from the Jane Adam's Half Way house at sectionals. Also high up on the to-do list was to stop fielding barbs from Sue Motherfucking Sylvester in the faculty lunchroom. But it was SMS who gave him the plan to instill some fear into his troupe, because, as she says, terror "is like mothers milk to them, without it they won't grow properly." With his boys vs. girls singing scrimmage he instills some terror and makes them grow, but in the entirely wrong direction. The whole thing was a bit like a lightning strike to an above ground swimming pool, but with fewer plastic floating animals.

Speaking of Sue, we finally got to see her write her deepest darkest delusions in her diary, and the whole segment was total brilliance. We learned that she is insecure in her ability to take Nationals—even though she blames it on Quinn's minuscule quiver rather than her coaching abilities—and somehow that transfers into her need to destroy both Glee and Will. After all, without a big win, how is she going to afford that hovercraft?