It's Valentine's Day tomorrow, which means there's no better time for our best commenters of the week to win a romantic getaway nestled in Joaquin Phoenix's roomy, hoax-abetting beard. So who won?

Syrax on 'Osbournes Reloaded' Gets Around WGA by Hiring Staff of Shit-Flinging Monkeys: I'll wait for Osbournes Revolutions, where the lead stars die in the end.

SunnydaZe10 on 'Lindsay Lohan is Our Dream Star!' Says 'Elm Street' Producer About to be Cussed Out by Michael Bay: Even though I think she will be perfect in the part, I thought Freddy Krueger was always played by Robert Englund??

NoWireHangers on Experience The Phyllis J. McGuire Mystique: Move over Brenda Dickson! Phyllis J. McGuire has Charo's face, Barbra's nails, Beyonce's bling, Kathy Lee's hair circa 1985, and the Easter Bunny's hide.

I can't tell if this photo was taken with a soft focus lens, or it her sweater and hair are radiating fur and aquanet, receptively.

Flawless.

Old No.7 on A Tale Of Two Grammys: Radiohead Bludgeons The Jonas Brothers: I bet Stevie wished he was deaf last night, as well.

busterbluth on Sharon Stone Slaps 'Slumdog' Star In Red-Carpet Mating Ritual: London is a great place to eat Indian.

Congratulations to our winners!

Contact information for this author is not available.