Somehow we knew Alec Baldwin would come for you first, Joaquin Phoenix. The actor seems as hostile to strung-out hippies as his 30 Rock alter ego Jack Donaghy.

And having invested so much time in being a good guest himself on shows like Saturday Night Live, Baldwin no doubt disdains your disastrous performance on the Late Show the other night.

On the bright side, this is but the first of many times you'll serve as the punch-line for a joke about drugs or TV interviews. Should keep your name out there.

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