Feb 3, 2009 07:16 PM
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Hollywood, 10:32 AM
Thu Sep 2
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Since having been returned to her grits-fixin' father for safekeeping, Britney's displaced entourage of swarthy, middle-aged ne'er-do-wells have turned cantankerous. Friday, she issued restraining orders against goon-faced heavy Sam Lutfi and soulless-patched paparazzo Adnan Ghalib.
Now Lutfi has shot back with a lawsuit claiming "libel, defamation, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of contract," stemming in part from his depiction in Lynne Spears's memoir of stagemother survival, Through the Storm. But how does battery fit into this?
In the lawsuit, Sam claims he was standing in Britney's kitchen on January 29, 2008 when Jamie [Spears, Britney's father] stormed into the house. Lutfi alleges Jamie yelled at him, claiming Sam made a rude comment to Lynne the night before. Then, Sam claims, Jamie "intentionally punched him in the chest" and threatened to kill him if he ever heard Sam make a rude comment about Lynne or any member of the Spears family again.
Which Lutfi did, at which point Britney's four-foot-wide, razor-toothed vagina clamped down on his legs. He survived, but doctors say he may never walk again. Don't mess with the Spears. They may not have sprinkle-cheese, but they got teeth.
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