Defamer's Week in Review: We learned the true meaning of friends, family and being fine with ourselves. Share our lessons after the jump, and have a great weekend!

· Someone pushed pretty awards princess Slumdog Millionaire into the Oscar-latrine shit-pile.
· Meanwhile, Milk gathered steam, partially at the unfortunate, Fatone-y expense of James Franco.
· Q: Hey, SAG president Alan Rosenberg! Do you know your union is so utterly fucked that even Justine Bateman can't remain quiet any longer? A: Know it? Hell, I wrote it!
· If Jacksonville had just had an Easter Beary hanging around its American Idol auditions, everyone would have been so, so much happier.
· Sadly, Mickey Rourke's thrilling extracurricular wrestling exploits — from WrestleMania 25 to Evan Rachel Wood's tongue — were refuted and denied.
· Wow, Sly Stallone — what's your nutrition secret? Oh. Never mind.
· In semi-related news, lean Green Hornet jiltee Seth Rogen probably won't succeed Jessica Simpson as the spokesperson for the Speedfit™.
· Elsewhere in Oscar prophecy: Benjamin Button. 0-for-13. Take it to the bank.
· On the occasion of Bart Simpson pimping Scientology and the Olsens' star being vandalized, officials confirmed that in fact nothing is sacred.
· You have to admit: The boys from Kris Kross did inherit their mother's eyes.

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