Gawker
For this, our final post of 2008, join Defamer in recalling the heroes, history and other Earth-shattering phenomena that raised the bar for years of pop culture to come.
· The year's top-three meme-ready utterances: "Contract, Guy, Contract." "Google me, you dumb fuck." And "I THINK SHE ABOUT TO PULL SOME'N OUTTA HER PANTS!" Not necessarily in that order.
· Things were going great for the gays after finally welcoming Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan into the fold. And then came Proposition 8.
· Shia LaBeouf had his balls thwacked, hand shattered, pinkie nearly amputated and likeness stolen. But it could have been worse: At least he's not Mike Myers. Or Eddie Murphy. Or a Wachowski brother.
· With the tragic help of the late Heath Ledger — and despite the best saboteurial efforts of Momzo the Clown — The Dark Knight became the box-office phenomenon of the decade.
· Twilight, Iron Man, Sex and the City, and plunderrific Indiana Jones 4 were box-office sensations, Australia, Speed Racer and Zack and Miri Make a Porno went straight to Flopz™. And Delgo was Del-gone before we knew it.
· Lessons in love came hard to Anne Hathaway, who could have learned a thing or two about how to find a man from classy Bachelor contestant Stacey. Or, if she's after something more casual, Ben Lyons is always happy to oblige Hollywood's starfucking needs.
· The 2008 vintage of celebrity sex media proved disappointing at best, with Verne Troyer's frightening video tryst easily outmaneuvering Kristin Davis's racy amateur porn for the overall top spot. Linsday Lohan handily won the Glossy Nudes category, while Adrienne Bailon earned Best Nontroversy with a little help from the Worst Publicist in the World.
· Yet scandal-plagued tween darling Miley Cyrus ultimately emerged in a class by herself, devouring her clothes and going topless-ish for Vanity Fair. But so what, right? Teenagers fuck.
· After numerous teases and an awards-show casualty, the WGA strike finally concluded. Bored with all that peacetime labor harmony, a defiant SAG turned its own missiles on Hollywood.
· We were saddened to see the dissolution of power couples ranging from Madonna and Guy Ritchie to Star Jones and Al Reynolds. If only they had half the excuse that Sarah Silverman had for her temporary bust-up with Jimmy Kimmel.
· The View usurped The Hills as our favorite source of shrill, soul-debasing thrills.
· The Oscars and Emmys were nice and everything, but this year we finally discovered we're really more of a Video Music Awards kind of blog.
· A handful of doomed mini-majors were at the vanguard of the film industry's march toward recession. Harvey Weinstein, meanwhile, straggled behind the pack to bury his dead and plot his retreat.
· We got to know — like really got to know — the Jonas Brothers, Courtenay Semel, Dustin Lance Black and Tyler Perry. In 2009, we resolve to finally meet our beloved Archie.
· Scientology might have had its detractors, scandals and sword-swinging nemeses, but at least its members didn't go around Hollywood asking who this crazy Rosh Hashanah person is.
· We cornered Judd Apatow, Robert Pattinson, Sam Rockwell, Kathy Griffin, Stephen Daldry, John Cusack, Werner Herzog, Rob Corddry, Russell Brand, David Cronenberg, Etan Cohen, Vera Farmiga, Casey Wilson, Dave Holmes and Dennis Hopper into having a word with us. Not all at once, alas, though that would have been awesome.
· Tom Cruise slogged through '08 as well with an ailing studio and a bit of an eyepatch problem, culminating in his "Nazi apologia" Valkyrie. Katie Holmes avoided the whole mess by spending a few months on Broadway.
· The fearless leadership combo of Jeff Zucker and Ben Silverman continued to offer reason upon reason why NBC is your home for Must-Flee TV.
· ZOMG!!!! EARRRRRRRRRTHQUAAAAAKE!!!!
· Nothing surprised us more than Corey Haim's touching full-page contrition. Except maybe for Dolly Parton's unspeakbly filthy mouth.
· So long, Mr. Lisanti. You are missed. As are you, Miss McAleer. And you, Mr. Reinhardt. And you, Miss Friedman. And you, Mr. Graham. Happy new year to them and to you, Dear Reader. We'll see you in 2009!
