Despite its principals' best efforts, the Ricky Gervais Oscar-hosting whispers simply will. Not. Die. But Gervais, who has downplayed the possibility since his Emmy-saving bit in September involuntarily sprung him into candidacy, has his foot squarely on the rumor's throat today with his strongest denial yet. And we paraphrase: Who wants that bullshit job, anyway?

Granted, Academy reps' original denials a few months back were of the emphatic-but-open-ended variety, leaving enough light for the weedy, sinister untruth to flourish. The quick fade of Gervais's would-be stateside movie breakthrough Ghost Town couldn't deter it, either, until the British comic invoked his edginess — and, we guess, his inaccessibility — to finally pull himself out of the running:

He says, "I don't think it will happen. Americans do get my humour but in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, 'The Oscars isn't about comedy, it's about a bunch of people turning up to see if they get an award.'

"It is a huge deal and it's very flattering to be considered but I'm not sure I would be right. It's a historic, stuffy thing and I'd want to have fun with it and I don't think they'd want me to do that. I wouldn't be allowed to do what I wanted and it would be me reading an autocue. I don't need to do these things. I don't want to up my profile."

Wait, really? In that case, the Oscar stage is exactly where he should be next February. Consider this deal done.

• Gervais Has Doubts Over Oscars Job
  [WENN]

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