By Mark Graham, 9:10 PM on Fri May 30 2008, 10,946 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· From clingy dresses to canine masturbation, from mean-spirited reviews to disappointed Cosmo swillers doling out handjobs, we found ourselves oversexed in our city.
· The same cannot be said for Clay Aiken — he's pregnant!
· We were accused of being part of an "extraordinary smear campaign" after passing along a tip about Dan Aloni's alleged angry outburst on the Fox lot.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to two lovely, genetically perfect children named Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane. Wait, no she didn't. That left Entertainment Tonight paying the ultimate price.
· George Clooney bought Sarah Larson a one way ticket to Dumpsville.
· Lindsay Lohan's lesbian love was generously endorsed by Michael Lohan.
· Ben Silverman forgot to sync his Blackberry, enraging Ari Emmanuel [sic].
· We found out Kirsten Dunst wasn't drunk or drugged, just depressed. Then her pants caught fire.
· Sharon Stone got bit by the karma chameleon.
· The season finale of 'Lost' left us all wondering who's in the casket? Hint: he feels good!
· 50 Cent pulled a Left Eye (allegedly).
· We saved you $150K.
· Rachel [sic] Ray was in hot pursuit of extra virgins in the afterlife.
· We wept a little on the inside when Bill Murray's halo was tarnished.
· The End Of Ideas train kept plowing forward, picking up motormouth cops and ouija boards along the way.
· ScarJo CloneGate!
· We paid tribute to the dearly departed Sydney Pollack and Harley Korman (and angered a number of humor-challenged readers along the way).
· The next time we end up drunk in Tijuana, we are definitely getting that Patrick Swayze Centaur tattoo.