Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
Forty days and nights ago, phenomenal woman Kristin Cavallari commenced furious work on her debut memoir and lifestyle book Balancing on Heels (we can only assume). The tome is scheduled to hit Amazon in 460 days. Her task is not small: Kristin promises the text will encompass "really just everything in my life." As Krist's witness over the past 40 days, I have learned that "really just everything" in her life is more everything than anyone thought possible.
Kristin may seem like just your average or slightly below average gal. A wife whose basic thoughts drift listlessly below her meticulously curled, unnaturally blonde hair extensions. A mother who parlayed being mean in high school into years of fame and fortune. Though she is immeasurably blessed on this Earth, Kristin often presents herself as the salt of it. "It's refreshing to see that [I'm] just like everybody else," she told Good Morning America in January.
In fact, Kristin's world is filled with tumultuous, vibrant confusions. Her everyday life is a quest in search of a higher truth.
Like Jesus in the desert, Kristin has, over the course of the last 40 days, abstained from sour cream, agave, additives, "parabins," egg whites, most shrimp (unless she knows where the shrimp is coming from), and likely very many other food products. Like Jesus, Kristin is hungry. Likewise like Jesus is Kristin sustained by a mystical faith: His in the power of God; Kristin's in the validity of a collection of loosely-sourced web articles on a subject that might kindly and ambitiously be termed "natural science."
In pursuit of the most Right lifestyle, Kristin has read the screeds of Doctors Oz and Mercola and Kellyann, and she has obeyed. She "stumbled upon" an article touting the benefits of bone broth, so she boiled bones. She heard fermented food can be used to treat a child's allergies, so she fermented vegetables for her infant son. She read that "agave isn't what we thought it was," and, thus betrayed, drank a quarter cup of maple syrup mixed with milk instead.
While Kristin has not yet decrypted all the secrets of the universe, she is keen to share with us small pieces of what she has uncovered: a skincare brand she loves; her favorite color; how she feels about looking "really skinny" ("I don't like that look.").
The rest will be revealed to us sometime, many days, and months, and seasons from now, when Kristin emerges from her study, hands raw and heels balanced, clutching a record of all her earthly and divine knowledge committed to scroll.
Today, her God is still a mystery to me.
[Photo via Getty]