One hundred sunsets into her memoir-writing journey, Kristin Cavallari has begun to steer the country away from fugly flats and into heels. Though her legislative gains have been meager—some might say non-existent—Kristin has attacked her overarching goal of putting her life’s work on the record with enthusiasm.
[The book will be] basically an intimate look at my life. It’s going to be a lot of fashion and beauty. Because I’m such a big health nut, it’s also going to be health and fitness. And then a lot of recipes because I love to cook and a lot of mommy and wife stuff. So really just everything in my life...
It was then that Kristin elected to give an estimate of when she might finish committing really just everything in her life to scroll. While other leaders might have promised to finish the job quickly, Kristin shot it straight.
“It’s gonna be out spring 2016,” she said.
Pundits have since agreed that Kristin was right to give this 500-day timeline, as evidenced by her progress on the book so far.
Since Kristin commenced work on the book, she has provided scant details about the status of the project to her constituents. At first, she declared publicly that the memoir would be titled Balancing on Heels. Ninety-three days later, she renamed the project Balancing in Heels, providing no explanation for the change. In the interim, however, Kristin did hint at what Balancing Within and Without Heels might look like in the far, far, distant future.
On day 50, Kristin announced from her professional no funny business office that she was “working away” on the tome. The photo she provided of said work suggests the book will be published on paper, in a long vertical column.
On day 61, Kristin confirmed that an almond butter cookie recipe would appear in the book, and on day 83, she announced that a recipe for peanut butter chocolate chip cashew ice cream had also made the cut. Without more information to go on, the talking heads began to wonder if this nut was cracking under pressure.
But Kristin fought to change the narrative in the press, providing more evidence of her progress on Balancing Except Heels on Instagram. She posted a potential cover image to the social media platform on day 94, remarking that it was “such an exciting day” for her.
She even promised the public a more active role in the future. “Wish I could show u guys all the cover options!” she wrote in a later post. “Once we narrow them down I’ll let you guys decide which one for the cover!”
Though evidence that Balancing Betwixt Heels will ever be completed is slim, some observers are impressed by Kristin’s growth in general. Voter @badgirllilli55 noted on Instagram, “cant believe she’s happily married and has two kids [surprise face emoji] she seemed like a mad girl on the hills and Laguna.”
Kristin’s legacy remains undefined.
[Photo via Getty]