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  • Defamer

    Breaking! Angelina Jolie Proud Mother To Two More Healthy Baby Blobs: UPDATE

    By Seth, 12:20 PM on Fri May 30 2008, 5,275 views (Edit, to draft, un-top, Slurp)

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    Big news! The first Morse code beeps heralding the arrival of two more biologically achieved additions to the Jolie-Pitt clan have landed in our Google Telegraph inbox. The joyous development comes almost two years to the day that the couple's first amorphous Chosen Blob was ushered into this world by a coterie of Namibian midwives. By contrast, genetically flawless Jolie-Pitt White Children Numbers 2 through 3 (names pending) were delivered in France, with all the First-World-medical-facility pampering that implies. More details as they come, including the all-important How Jennifer is Handling the News report, and whether or not it involves any huffily dispatched text messages demanding to know, "So r u in or out?? My body is a ticking biologicl wonderlnd!!"

    UPDATE #1: We have names. "ISLA (pronounced eye-la) MARCHELINE (after Angie's mom) and AMELIE JANE (after Brad's mom) JOLIE-PITT."
    UPDATE #2: ET's report is wrong, says People!

    • Angelina has her twins! [ETonline.com]

    More about Biological OffspringWatch

    Defamer angelina-hospital.jpg

    French Hospital Forced To Cover Its Windows For 'Zat High-Maintenance Beetch' Angelina Jolie

    As we round the corner onto the 17th month of weist-loss guru Angelina Jolie's seemingly interminable pregnancy (we're picturing the twins refusing to come out until the winner of their marathon, inter-uterus Boggle tournament is finally determined), the AP brings us this photo taken outside the... More »
    Defamer twins2.jpg

    Chosen Blobs Won't Crown For 'Weeks,' Says France's Sexiest Celebrity Obstetrician

    Twice now, we've dangled before you the magnificent prospect of Angelina Jolie delivering two more blob-angels to her growing lineage. Both stories turned out to be wrong—the last of which left us so disappointed, we found ourselves tormented by anxiety nightmares on the topic. More »
    Defamer twins2.jpg

    Angelina Gives Birth! For Real This Time! Or Not! Don't Ask Us! We Just Work Here!

    A little over a month ago, typically dependable celebrity-water-breaking newssource ET reported that Angelina Jolie had birthed conjoined-lifemate Brad Pitt's second batch of genetic progeny. More »

    Read More: Defamer, Biological OffspringWatch, Angelina Jolie, Brad PItt, Celeb Babies, Gawker, Top, Defamer
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Hollywood, 10:11 AM
Fri Jul 10
45 posts in the last 24 hours

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