By Seth, 9:37 PM on Fri Apr 25 2008, 836 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· Despite the best efforts of Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes gets three years for tax evasion.
· The birth of Viacom's new premium cable channel riles future galactic despot Les Moonves.
· Let's hope this is just a bump in Lindsay Lohan's Road to Wellville.
· Whither our superheroines?
· All is again Kosher between Tom & Vicky & Dave & Katie.
· The Segelbot successfully executes Talk Show Anecdote Program Embarrassing Naked Breakup Story. Behold, the Segelshlong.
· Baby Mama: The reproductive torture-porn cut.
· Star Jones fails to make love work.
· Semi-Pro bear gets fully-pissed, mauls his trainer to death.
· Does the Valkyrie release-date shell-game spell bad news for the Cruise/Wagner UA?
· The Uwe Boll Movie Challenge invites to make your own, damn hacky movie, while Boll issues a challenge to sworn nemesis Michael Bay: 12 rounds in the ring, winner takes all. (Winner being us.)
· Jimmy Fallon finds the perfect platform for a comedian who loves laughing at his own jokes.
· The Hobbit blows cum-bubbles!