Dying to watch the poorly edited yet highly scandalous Tom Cruise indoctrination video but don't have nine minutes to kill? We understand. That's why we put intrepid Defamer videographer Molly McAleer on the case, and the 108-second compilation clip she turned in is bound to have the SPs roaring in the aisles (or, more accurately, cowering in a corner somewhere). We've gone through the tech and run our PTSSP drills, now it's your turn.

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