It seems the mysterious disappearance of an usmagazine.com blog post on Katie Holmes's participation in the Boston Marathon (again, we refer you to our conspiracist commenters' take on the matter, including their fascinating yet totally gross "missing toenail" theory) might not have been the result of a squad of Citizens Commission on Human Rights mercenaries having kidnapped the article for a grueling, all-night republishing session. Instead, if Us Weekly arch nemesis OK! magazine is to be believed, it was simply a matter of faulty reporting:

"Katie Holmes is not running in the Boston Marathon," her spokeswoman Ina Treciokas tells OK! exclusively, breaking the heart of long-distance-running Dawson's Creek fans everywhere.

Still, one flack's denial can't necessarily prevent the actress from continuing to gaze longingly at her worn Boston Marathon brochure, causing a nearby chaperone to muse out loud about what a terrible tragedy it would be if she were to slip on Suri's rattle on the stairs—a freak foot-hobbling accident that would forever sideline Holmes's sudden obsession with traveling at high speeds for long distances over rough urban terrains.

• OK! Exclusive: Katie Holmes NOT Running Boston Marathon [OK!]

Contact information for this author is not available.