By all measures, Hey Paula, the Bravo reality show offering viewers unfettered access to everyone's favorite inarticulate American Idol judge who isn't Randy Jackson, was as sure a thing as they come. Who wouldn't tune in to catch a rare glimpse of the real Paula Abdul—the enigmatic woman behind all the narcoleptic promotional appearances, the Chihuahua-related head traumas, and the secretly recorded P.R. conference call meltdowns?

Of course, that was before the show actually aired, and Abdul's dreary, fame-hungry existence—filled in the Idol off-season with QVC appearances and pointless strategy meetings with a staff who respond with icy, death-stare detachment—was laid out for all the world to see. In the above clip, Paula reacts pretty much as one might expect as she learns that she has been forced out of the Bratz movie she proudly plugged in every interview this year. Dramatic? Perhaps, but where some might see a fourth-rate movie inspired by a line of slutty dolls, Abdul saw in the project a raison d'être outside the karaoke ghetto that has come to define her existence.

• Paula Abdul Has a Bratz Meltdown [YouTube via BWE]
• Hey Paula [BravoTV.com]

Contact information for this author is not available.