· Madonna demanded that interviewers not break eye contact with her for the duration of their backstage encounter at Live Earth, a measure necessary for her to cast the Kabbalistic mind-control spell that prevents reporters from asking intrusive questions about her disastrous film career or black market orphan purchases. Word has it that the spell takes hold more quickly if her subject inhales the vapors from a candle that smells like God or if he or she can be tricked into touching her red string bracelet.
· Following last night's episode-ending, tranny-junk-dangling freeze frame, Entourage creator Doug Ellin promises the rest of his series will be schlong-free.
· Is this the exact moment that Jason Lee's career began an irreversible downward trajectory? Only time will tell.
· Harry Potter fans really need to just let go.
· Truly, the new generation is high to glue to fuck the type quickly.

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