Proving that its emergency preparedness program is unquestionably the finest in Hollywood—yes, it even shames that of hyper-vigilant ICM—the Church of Scientology sprung into action following news that the spread of the Griffith Park wildfires necessitated the evacuation of many adjacent Los Feliz homes, dispatching their top Level VII Celebrity Disaster Response Tech to make sure residents knew to immediately flee the area. Reports the LAT Breaking News blog:

Stephen Halbert swept ash from his brick patio this morning, trying to clear it before his wife returned to the 1926 house on Aberdeen Avenue they have lived in for seven years.

Halbert had been standing outside his home at 8 p.m. Tuesday watching the glow of the fire grow closer and redder when neighbor Kirstie Alley drove up and told him to leave. He grabbed his cats and his computer and jumped in his black Prius.

Unfortunately, the danger posed by the still-raging conflagration prevented Alley from setting up an assist tent, where she could administer a course of healing shoulder rubs and vitamins to those adversely affected by the blaze; she did, however, have time to hand out coupons redeemable for a discounted copy of Dianetics before speeding off to inform other neighbors of the evacuation orders.

• Returning to a burned landscape [LATimesBlogs]

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