· It's an honor just to get one step closer to not losing: The Dream is over. The entire snub call-sheet. "Like, yoicks!" " Playing the Oscar race card. Helen Mirren is a DILF with a secret allegiance. The Best Actress category goes full frontal.
· Welcome to the Mothership: CAA opens its new doors with an assistant-free flourish.
· Brad Grey's "uncouth and distasteful" Oscar petition was for naught.
· Isaiah Washington's apology tour ends at Gayhab.
· Fuck it. Harvey's good at this.
· Paris Hilton's last remaining secrets (hint: fat guy smothered in five kilos of blow) are finally yours, for a mere $39.97 a month. Also, she pleads no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving.
· SKG hearts Obama.
· Due to her busy schedule, full-time homemaker Katie Holmes turns down The Dark Knight.
· Nicole Kidman goes boom. What the grip saw.
· Enjoy this round-table discussion with this year's brightest Oscar nominees. And Brad Pitt.
· The Karma Fairy pays Joe Francis another visit.
· Dakota Fanning sees Hounddog as a sort of arthouse after-school special.
· Kirk Douglas fondly recalls his Nazi-stewardess-slapping sexploits.
· Scott Baio fondly recalls his corduroy-sofa-penetrating sexploits.
· Lindsay Lohan: Happiest she's ever been and totally in control!

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