· The cover of the new Los Angeles is really doing nothing but super-sizing our filthy Helen Mirren fry-dropping fantasies.
· "Lindsay Goes to Rehab" is already the prohibitive favorite to take home Defamer's Song of the Year prize.
· Fun quiz time: What clothing company sponsored this blog post on what Lohan was wearing right before she checked into rehab?
· Finally, an explanation on why Paris Hilton's eye does that thing. Not the totally vacant stare thing, the drooping thing.
· In last night's liveblog, the Horny Manatee is confronted with a fetish she can't satisfy.

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