Lindsay Lohan's recent penchant for unedited, rambling, Blackberry-distributed manifestos has given us a newfound appreciation for succinct publicist-authored statements trying to minimize the harm that certain club-haunting, infant-neglecting, panty-eschewing clients are doing to their images. Take, for example, this note posted to BritneySpears.com last night: In an efficient six sentences, fans learn that sure, Spears might be overdoing it with the partying, but she's just stretching her legs after a two-year imprisonment by screaming babies and a deadbeat househusband, and is now ready to calm down a bit and rediscover the joys of mass-market, lacy underthings, all without the intervention of the Clinton Administration. She's back, ya'll, at least until she undoes the whole thing by getting caught leaving one of her kids on the bar at Area while she heads off to the bathroom with Paris Hilton for half an hour of nose-powdering.

• Britney Spears [britneyspears.com via PopBytes]

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