· TVGasm has an exclusive! photo! essay! of the upstate New York scene of Rip Torn's DWI arrest, which resulted in one of the greatest celebrity mugshots ever taken.
Kevin Federline's "lack of public self-pity in the face of a lifetime to be spent as a punchline" game is ridiculous.
Paris Hilton wants kids, Britney doesn't seem to want hers anymore—we think there's a two-babies-for-a-bag-of-strawberry-blow exchange waiting to be made here.
The Office's Jenna Fischer's lack of mastery of an "I'm A Star In Public" Voice does nothing to diminish our love. We're glad she got more water, that's always an excellent choice, but she should ditch the husband. We're just sayin'.
· Gridskipper's Nazi Santa Tracker didn't have to look past Monday night's Studio 60 for its first Hitler Claus sighting.

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