The obsessively covered public row following Sumner Redstone's announcement of perhaps the most sensational contract non-renewal in Hollywood history has, regrettably, shifted attention away from the plight of Tom Cruise war bride Katie Holmes, who must temporarily endure her billion-year imprisonment in obscurity, content to know that her much-scrutinized personal services agreement with the star may have played a crucial part (even if just for purposes of Viacom's PR manipulation) in her partner's troubles. Taking inspiration from Michael Lohan's heartwrenching cartoon depicting the evil forces keeping father from troubled, starlet daughter, Gallery of the Absurd helpfully retrains the spotlight on Holmes' troubles, reminding us that behind every ugly war of words between fading megastar and cost-cutting mogul, there's a helpless woman back at home pretending to take of a fake baby while chained to an immovable object.

• The Prison Art of Katie Holmes [Gallery of the Absurd]
• Previously: The La Lohan Code: Lindsay's Problems Illustrated [Defamer]

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