Perhaps the only thrill bigger than that of finishing a hard-won second place at the box office is the fanciful capture of the all-time opening weekend record. Today's Variety features this huge parody ad touting the performance of Entourage's Spider-Man-squashing pseudoblockbuster, Aquaman, proving that even fictional talent must be sucked up to in the trades, lest they feel unappreciated and make their next fake movie with a competitor.

• We're Number Two! We're Number Two! [Defamer]

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