· We were just about to take back every negative thing we've said about this year's Best Picture winner after reading this "Real Life Crash" item, but then we remembered that according to Paul Haggis, there are no gay people or skinheads in LA.
· There's another indictment in the Pellicano wiretapping case today, but it's not a studio executive or Scary Hollywood Lawyer, so we're finding it hard to get too whooped up about it.
· April Fool's Day saves a straight Rescue Me actor from being homosexualized for the second time. [Estimated price of item for FX: $135]
· Good news! Rob Schneider is not on steroids.
· Dumpster Baby is real. Be very afraid.
· Teri Hatcher talks about her sexual abuse again, but this time without posing in her underwear immediately afterwards.

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