In an uncharacteristically upbeat interview with Rolling Stone, former Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher shared his thoughts on Kanye West (love), Miley Cyrus (hate), hypochondria (have), and his dog-shit year. It was cantankerous, insightful, and f0r grouchy Gallagher, the most holiday spirit we may ever see from him.
Despite his penchant for familial fisticuffs, as always, Gallagher's best jabs come at the expense of other artists, and as always, they are nothing short of gems. He loves very few things, though fiercely, and everything else is basically as dog-shit as his year was.
On David Bowie's new album:
I thought at the time, and I still think now, that it's a fucking masterpiece. I love it. Nobody has the right to be that fucking good at this point in their career. Apart from Neil Young, all of the people that are in his league are basically fucking shit.
On Kanye West:
I'm not really a fan of his or anything like that. I don't really like that kind of modern hip-hop, whatever you call it. But somebody told me to watch this interview he did in England [with BBC DJ Zane Lowe], so I watched it, and I thought it was one of the best interviews I've ever seen. I fuckin' loved it! Especially the bit about the leather jogging pants or whatever he's going on about, fucking claiming he invented them.
On Robin Thicke:
It sounded good on the radio. Got a bit annoying after the five millionth time you've heard it. I think he's going to be a one-hit wonder, surely. It'll be like that guy who's done "Gangnam Style" – we'll never hear from him again.
On Miley Cyrus (who he inexplicably thinks is named Miley Ray Cyrus):
She was on TV recently, Miley Ray Cyrus, and it was just like, "What the fuck is all this about?" I don't know. It's a shame, because it puts all the other female artists back about fucking five years. Now, Adele and Emili Sande – that music, to me, is like music for fucking grannies, but at least it's got some kind of credibility.
On Lady Gaga, and defecation:
Lady Gaga for me is all about that first album, because my daughter and my wife loved it. I've never heard of her since. What does that say? That speaks volumes, to me. She's another one. In fact, she's probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.
On Arcade Fire's double album:
I haven't heard it. Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the Seventies, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album?
On hearing that David Bowie sang backup for Arcade Fire:
Oh, that's a shame.
Noel Gallagher wishes you all a very happy holidays.