The starter's pistol has been fired, signalling the start of the holiday-season retail orgy (yes, our orgies always feature gunplay) that distinguishes this great Nation from the Communist puppet regimes that once plagued Eastern Europe.

What were we talking about? Oh, right. The folks back at the Gawker Media Retail mothership have generously decided to help fill your seasonal gift-giving needs by offering some brand-new t-shirts at our online shop. We're featuring the first Defamer-logo'd shirt (pictured at left), which illustrates in vivid detail what you'd like to do the next time your cruel boss asks you to "put a pin in it" while he attends to the pressing matter of his Free Cell game. You, however, are too smart to resort to actual violence, knowing that one day you'll be running this town, and will serve your ice-cold revenge in due time. Until then, why not channel your rage into an impulse t-shirt purchase? Go on, do it now, before the boss returns from lunch and begins a fresh round of afternoon torture. You owe it to yourself.

• Gawker Shop [shop.gawker.com]

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