· "Schuth has said he fantasized about being married to 'Alias' star Jennifer Garner. At his sentencing, he said: 'I apologize to Jennifer Garner and her pool boy Ben Affleck for involving them in my fantasies.'" Amazingly, this is the least troubling part of the story.
· Michael Eisner showed his impeccable instincts by hating Johnny Depp's soused, Keith Richards-flavored performance in Pirates of the Caribbean . As it turns out, Eisner's fears were unfounded, and Depp did not ruin the film.
· Wanna see a turntable covered in blow? Of course you do.
· Pamela Anderson is shocked—shocked!—that the producers of Stacked, a sitcom with a title that puns on her prodigious, man-made rack, would dress her in clothes that showcase said factory-installed mams. Shocked!
· Jessica Simpson is photographed sans wedding ring, sans Lachey-unit, but with some other guy at a movie. These are all signs of a completely healthy, not at all maintained-solely-for-appearances union.

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