In Brazil to promote her new movie The Legend of Zorro, Catherine Zeta-Jones laid down the law when it comes to the daily barrage of lustful, pansexual mummy-fetishists beating a path directly for the contents of eternally youthful husband Michael Douglas' pants:

I was never a jealous woman, and if I were, I d never tell a reporter! she said. I never had a fight over jealousy and regarding Michael, if a man looks at him, I ll be angry, but if it s a woman it s better for me because with her, I ll solve the problem with a sword.

The swordplay talk, of course, is just needless bravado. Zeta-Jones knows that even the most opportunistic, money-grubbing tart probably wouldn't be willing to go through with the laborious ritual of stretching and re-stapling her husband's skin every morning, even for a shot at his considerable fortune.

• Zeta-Jones finds super-skinny women scary (second item) [MSNBC]
• Michael Douglas Discovers Fountain Of Youth [Defamer]

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