We have no idea why someone's painted Ben Affleck's face on a child-size chair, or why such a moving objet d'art was being removed from Affleck's house. Perhaps the chair was delivered to his residence by his "number one fan," who lit himself on fire on the front lawn once he realized he and Affleck would never be together now that Jennifer Garner and the baby are in the picture, and the painting was too painful a reminder of the tragic intersection of crushing fame and unrequited love. Who knows? It's Friday morning and we don't need to have all the answers. In any case, it's a more flattering likeness than Affleck's Police Sparkling Gun Playset.

• Ben's Strange Furniture [Sky]

Contact information for this author is not available.