Are those wedding bells we hear, or the sound of the rockets of celebrity-marriage annihilation whistling through the air, ready to destroy the media over the coming Fourth of July weekend? It's hard to tell, the sounds are surprisingly similar. In any case, US Weekly reports that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner tied the proverbial, probably temporary knot yesterday on the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos, saving the couple's much-rumored baby from technical bastardhood. And we hate to be crass on such a happy occasion, but we really hope that Affleck didn't mar the ceremony by whipping out the Benitals when the priest asked for the ring, for such antics have no place on the altar.

UPDATE: The Enquirer's website already has some pictures. Don't worry, folks, we're pretty sure Jennifer didn't marry Victor Garber by mistake!

• Ben and Jen: They Do! [E! Online]

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