The LAT's Hot Property column, your weekly guide to everything overpriced and celebrity-related in the local real-estate market, delves into the Malibu summer rental market, where the ridiculously wealthy can pay relatively piddling sums to spend the season insulated from the beachgoing hoi polloi. Here are some of the going rates to breathe the rarefied air (and hump like crazed, sandy weasels in the California king beds) of some fabulous landlords:

Sting: $100K/month, 8,000 sq. feet
Pierce Brosnan: $100K/month, 2,700 sq. feet (quaint, sure, but on nearly an acre of property)
Ted Danson: $80K/month, 3,500 sq. feet
Ozzy Osbourne: $75K/month, 4,500 sq. feet

While these killer beachfront pads might be out of reach for all but the most well-off of Hollywood's sun-worshipers, there are more budget-minded options available in The 'Bu. For a mere five thousand dollars, one of David Geffen's security guards will boost you up over his wall and give you a sixty-second peek at the public beach. For an extra grand, another guard will hold your sun reflector for a full minute of billionaire-style tanning.

UPDATE: Geffen's beach makes Dooneebury.

• Hot Property: Sun, stars align in Malibu [LAT]

Contact information for this author is not available.