Now that Pat O'Brien, America's modern master of the seductive voicemail message, has finally exited rehab, he's going to do what all disgraced celebrities with access to the sweeps airwaves do: begin a televised redemption tour to convince the viewing public that's he's free of the demons that landed him there. According to that pesky squirrel with the unicorn horn that keeps CrazyTalking in our ear, O'Brien's prime-time confessional ratings-extravaganza with Dr. Phil will air next Wednesday on CBS (gotta keep it in the Viacom family, yo), the two will hug and yell some more on Dr. Phil's daytime show Thursday, and O'Brien will return to his celeb-diddling Insider fiefdom that night. The fucking-going-crazy, drugs, and hookers, we assume, will follow shortly thereafter. But not the booze, as the Devil's party-juice is a no-no for Promises alumni trying to get back on TV.

• Defamer CrazyTalk: Pat O’Brien, Sweeps Savior? [Defamer]

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