Screenwriter John August is in London, working on the "last details" of the updated Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie. This brief travelogue illustrates some of the horrors our peers may encounter when leaving our fluffy cocoon for less star-studded destinations:

Imagine my relief when I realized the real reason for my miserable eyes: everyone in London smokes...Yes, I know I'm spoiled coming from Los Angeles, where smoking indoors, or in the presence of any living creature, is considered abhorant.[sic] But here's to social shaming. When I come home from dinner, I want to feel it in my stomach, not smell it on my clothes.

Truthfully, in my week here, I have seen a few people not smoking. But they were children, and looked a little daft.

We assume that August was too modest to note the children of London's puzzling lack of huge, fake tits and inappropriately sexualizing movie roles. Culture shock is a bitch.

• Everyone in London smokes [johnaugust.com]

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