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The London Daily Telegraph has an early review of the upcoming mega-budget, mega-blockbuster, Troy. According to critic John Hisock, it's so sweeping that it "comes close to justifying the enormous amount of money spent on it." Just how much money Warner Brothers poured into it is, as usual, up for debate—the studio claims $175 million, but others guess at a quarter of a billion dollars. (Apparently, thousands of sweaty Greeks in metal skirts don't come cheap. Who knew?)

But is Brad Pitt's Achilles worth the GDP of some tiny country you'd never want to visit without a full set of inoculations and a sherpa? On the one hand, Hisock says Pitt can't "carry off the limp and clichéd dialogue" but "is given plenty of opportunity to display his brawny physique in nude sex scenes." Yeah, we didn't think that Warner backed up the Brinks truck to hear Pitt talk. "Hey, Brad, we're gonna try it a different way this time. Instead of that soliloquy, why don't you take off your shirt and snap off two dozen crunches? We feel that's what's true to the character."