BREAKING: Kevin Reilly Takes Over NBC Entertainment Division; Must Immediately Solve Friends Crisis

NBC primetime development president Kevin Reilly will become president of NBC Entertainment later this month, according to Variety. He'll still report to Jeff Zucker, who is president of NBC Entertainment, News, and Cable Group. [Ed. note—Yes, these titles are all perfectly clear.] "Kevin is perfectly positioned to help NBC continue its tremendous run," Zucker said Monday. "He's worked hard on a promising new development slate for next year."

We imagine that accepting this promotion entails being locked in a week-long focus group meeting, pitching ideas for various permutations of Friends and receiving electric shocks for each one that doesn't test well. "Okay, it's like Friends, but one is black and one is in a wheelchair. No? OUCH. Okay, it's the second season of Friends meets the seventh season of Friends, there's both a fat version and skinny version of Chandler. No? SHIT, THAT HURTS. Let's try Friends, but the Phoebe character can read people's minds. AHH!"