ABC's "Win This Baby" Contest

Everyone seems to be all in a titty-twisting tizzy over 20/20's announcement that they will be televising a segment tomorrow night in which a 16-year-old's newborn baby will be adopted by one of five desperate couples. The controversy really centers around ABC's decision to present the adoption as a sort of reality TV contest, with "winners" and "losers."

Imagine the outrage and resulting ratings when it's revealed that Barbara Walters has removed the baby's internal organs and stuffed it with one million dollars in cash! Make sure you tune in. Even Trump can't pull of a money-baby giveaway.

UPDATE: Sham psychic Uri Geller is incensed about the baby contest...because he has a patent on the idea!