If you're planning on watching TV on Wednesday, we hope you like Prince. MTV, MTV2, BET, VH1, and VH1 Classic will interrupt their normal schedules of pimping rides, following around semiretarded newlyweds with cameras, and endless talking-head commentary on pop culture ephemera to simultaneously broadcast a 30 minute Prince concert.
Does the new MTV generation even know who Prince is? Here's a quick primer so that the kids of today don't panic and mistakenly think they're watching a Michael Jackson concert:
Prince: Looks like a petite woman with a pencil moustache.
Michael Jackson: Surgically reconstructed to resemble a scary, velvet clown painting.
Prince: Original blend of funkified R&B and rock; plays almost all of the instruments.
Michael Jackson: Had Quincy Jones write him a huge record in the early 80s, then tried to screw him out of the credit.
Prince: May have outstanding parking tickets.
Michael Jackson: Recently indicted on child molestation charges, fired entire legal team.
Prince: Occasionally changes his name to unpronounceable symbol, wears pants with the ass cut out.
Michael Jackson: Erects theme park in backyard, naps with young boys in his bed, dangles babies over throngs of frothing Germans.