The Federal Trade Commission has cleared the way for NBC's acquistion of Vivendi Universal. The FTC won't oppose the merger, which is expected to be completed in early or mid May. NBC was the last major network without a movie studio. Now, all their evil plans to cross-promote Will & Grace and Connie and Carla can come to delicious, neutered-gay fruition!

How are these mega-mergers working out for the other media networks these days?

CBS/Viacom/Paramount: CBS unleashes the Titty That Ate the World during the Super Bowl halftime show, setting off chain reaction of censorship and fundamentalist backlash; Paramount releases Paycheck.

ABC/Disney: CEO Michael Eisner stripped of Chairman title, CEO Michael Eisner gets 73% no-confidence vote from shareholders, CEO Michael Eisner builds impenetrable bunker in office; Massive turnover in ABC front office.

Happy merging, NBC General Electric Vivendi Universal!

Feds bless NBC-U wedding [Variety, reg. req'd.]