These are the numbers that define our Monday morning universe:
1. Kill Bill Vol. 2 $25.6 million.
There was little doubt that everyone's favorite motormouth, hatchet-faced auteur was going to clean up this weekend. Defamer would call him for comment, but we're sure he's busy get his contractually-mandated salad-tossing from Harvey Weinstein for finishing first.
2. The Punisher $14 million.
Thomas Jane is The Punisher. Thomas Jane Fun Fact: "Who the fuck is Thomas Jane?" was uttered 1.4 million times in theaters this weekend.
3. Johnson Family Vacation $6.4 million.
Cedric the Entertainer reimagines the beloved Chevy Chase role from our youth. After Johnson Family Vegas Vacation, he'll reimagine Chase's coke binges and maybe even get a talk show that last for two weeks.
4. Hellboy $5.7 million.
Slap a mask on Ron Pearlman and watch the box office cash roll in. Hold on, better make that two masks in case one falls off.
5. Home on the Range $5.4 million.
Disney finishes in the Top 5. Home's take almost covers costs for the moat CEO Michael Eisner's built around his office to stave off bloodthirsty, torch-wielding board members.
Unmitigated Disasters, Disney Edition:
10. The Alamo, $4.05 million
Any more Eisner jokes would just be piling on. But when you're getting burned in effigy at the end of the Electric Parade, maybe it's time to rexamine your development slate.